Headed to the Mother Country.... sweet baby jesus

After some flight crazyness...I am currently in Tokyo Narita airport on my way home!!!!!!! Got my flight bumped up so i dont have to stay in the Tokyo airport for 26 hours. My flight is boarding as I type.... promise i will end this blog properly when i make it home.

-Dustin

Back to the dirty BK

Well one thing that i have learned about traveling in SE Asia is that the bus system will always give you good stories. It doesn't matter if you pay extra for the VIP bus, 1st class, 2nd class, 3rd, whatever.... it is always going to be a train wreck. We spent a few days at the beaches on the Andaman coast and they were incredible... the most beautiful beaches i have ever seen. But the monsoon won out and we retreated back to Bangkok. We decided to catch the overnight VIP bus (don't let the name fool you) to save money on a hotel room. So the ride started out just fine... until about 30 minutes into the 13 hour bus ride... and then the smell of old urine and rank diarrhea wafted up from the downstairs toilet. Seriously foul!! I think that the bus was running late so it didn't have time to empty its septic....and from the smell of it i think that sucker had a back load of about two weeks of rank ass raw sewage. Everyone on the back of the bus was gagging.... Vida tied a bandanna around her face with my green apple hand sanitizer on it to filter out the shit smell. The people at the back of the bus tried hanging blankets over the stairway to the shitter to block some of the smell (might have helped a little). Then the dude across from us started toking a joint.... the first time that i have actually been happy that someone was smoking on a bus.... it was the closest thing to incense or air freshener that we had... but soon enough the shit smell returned and stayed with us for the rest of the 13 hour VIP bus ride. So i decide to pop a few Dramamine to just sleep out the smell. So the Dramamine made me really sleepy. So tired that i ended up taking a big yawn and sucked the toxic poop fumes down my lungs and I swear to you that i thought i could actually taste the shit. And then the Dramamine kicked it and next thing you know we are rolling into BK.



So being the cliche tourist that i am, I knew that there was no way I could leave Bangkok and not see a tranny show (cause I already got my thrills at the ping pong show ... and i knew that Vida's stomach probably couldn't handle that much vagina... even though she is going into Ob/Gyn). So we go to the red light district and head to Mambo Cabaret. This is basically a Vegas style show but with all tranny performers... pre-op, post-op, somewhere in between. I am guessing that the requirement for working this show is not impeccable dancing or singing ability... but more so a pair of saline boobs and packing heat down below... seriously, on some of those dudes there were very obvious bulges. The show was freaking hilarious but there is really only so much of trannies lip-syncing to Beyonce, Pussycat dolls, etc. hat one can watch. So after the show we go some pictures with the gir....um... guys. And headed back to the backpacker's ghetto.
So question.... what would you get if you took Grandma Bobbie, made her into a tranny and slapped a crown and an aqua dress on her??? Any guesses?? Yeah... the green dress above is also packing some heat.

AND... i ate a lot of differnt bugs in Bangkok... crazyness... this one is a grasshopper... also tried cricket, larva, worm-looking things, and a beetle. CRUNCHY

Happy Mother's Day

I know I am missing mothers day but I just wanted to tell all the mothers in my life happy mother's day. So Happy Mother's Day MOM... and Grandma, Granny, Faith Nicole, Debbie, Tammie, Sharon, Theresa, Joy, and Doris. Hope you all have a great day and I am thinking about you today... or really tomorrow for me because that will be today for you. Be sure to tell everyone at the BBQ at Deb's hello for me.

Dry Season My ASS!!

So apparently the monsoon season started early this year. LUCKY ME! So we decided to head to the Andaman coast ... which is the west coast of Thailand for you geography buffs. And is has poured down rain everyday. A guy that i met that lives here said that it has rained at least once a day for the past 3 weeks. That being said.... it is still freaking beautiful... i am just enjoying the beauty while i am soaking wet. I found out that Disney is a fraud.... The movie "Pirates of the Caribbean" with Johnny Depp wasn't filmed in the Caribbean at all..... it was filmed right here at the beach that i went today. How awesome is that??? I totally felt like a pirate all day today. It was a total throw back to the days when my aunt wanted to buy one of those little kid dog collar things so i wouldn't run off to any character i saw at Disney land... seriously giddy.

So we took a bus from the bus station to Ao Nang this morning. But this was a local bus.... so that means that it waits at the bus stop until the bus is completely full before we leave. But the bus ended up not filling.... so we spent the next 30 minutes cruising the town honking at people to see if they wanted to go to Ao Nang.... and thankfully cruising the strip for hotties works every time. We filled the bus and was on our way. We hired a long tail boat and crammed on that sucker and headed out to Railay... one of the worlds rock climbing meccas (so now me and Vida have went to some of the best scuba sites and rock climbing sites... but do neither). The view was straight out of Pirates of the Caribbean. Huge rocks jutting out of the ocean in crystal blue/green looking water with white powdery sand beaches. Vida decided that she didn't really want to do anything.... so I ditched her and did my own thing. Ended up meeting up with some French girls that I met on the bus and we went exploring the island. We ended up going to this cave that has a story to tell. Legend is that a ship carrying an Indian princess crashed off shore of Railay. Her spirit then was left in a local cave (Tham Phra Nang - Holy Princess Cave). So local fisherman come to this cave and throw huge wooden dicks into it (sorry for the language but a fair amount of my family wouldn't know what a large wooden phallus was... so that ones for you Gma) in order to appease the princess' spirit so that she will make the ocean fertile and produce lots of fish. It was freaking hilarious.... some of these suckers were as tall as I am. Don't worry. I got lots of pics... all tasteful... well... at least most of them. And being the DRY season here in Thailand... it poured down rain so we retreated to the only place we knew where to go.... the bar. Ended up drunk and having to take a longtail boat back home in the storm.... but that just adds to the true pirate experience.

Indiana University Emergency Medicine Here I Come!

So I forgot to mention a story from the Elephant reserve. I actually met a Texan..... which in SE Asia is a rarity. There are really hardly any Americans here. Every traveler is from Australia, New Zealand, or Europe.... zero Americans. So I was talking to this Texas girl and ends up she lives in Austin. I told her that i went to school in San Antonio.... she guessed UT-SA. But i said at the health science center. So she asked if i was in medical school (which no one does cause they have no idea what UTHSCSA is). Turns out she is an EM doctor that graduated from UT-SW residency 3 yrs ago. I started laughing because how random is that! I told her that I was going into EM and that i did a rotation at UT-SW and loved it.... so we were talking about all the faculty and the people that wrote my letters of recommendation. She said that she enjoyed UTSW.... but she thought that the best EM program in the country was Indiana.... HAHAHA! I hadn't even told her yet that I was going to Indy for residency. So when i told her she was so pumped! She said she would have tried to go there but she felt she didn't click with the city (she is totally an Indian city girl). So even in SE Asia they know how awesome Indy is for EM... gotta love it.

Angkor Who?? Angkor Wat

So after Vang Vieng we headed to the capital city of Laos, Vientene. Which was a total bust. After VV, Vientene was a freaking boar. Matt Lauer lied to me. Where he should have went on the Today show was VV... but i guess a lot of young hippies floating down the river doing drugs doesn't make for great tv for people that get up early enough to watch the Today show. The town has some cool french stuff... like a lot of french buildings and a street that looks like the Champs Elysse and a really big arch thing like the Arch de Triumph (the US gave a lot of cement to Laos to build a new airport... so instead they built this big ass arch thing... i don't know). We flew out to Siem Riep in Cambodia which is the tourist hub for Angkor Wat. Ends up that Cambodia is freaking expensive (ok... that is just going by my cheap ass SE Asian standards). They use the US dollar as their currency and that means that you get screwed. They only use the paper money... so a bottle of water costs 1 dollar.. i much prefer my 10-15 cent bottle of water. And did i mention that Cambodia is hot as balls and just as sweaty. So we flew into Cambodia at around 10am and decided that we should check out AW that day.... and a 3 day pass costs $40 US. But whatever... its Angkor wat. So we go see the main temples and about pass out because its so hot... like a sweaty jungle type hot! But the temples were out of this world. They were so freaking incredible... they had so much detail and are just so old. They are suppose to have the most impressive Bas Reliefs in the world. I dont know what those are but it sounds pretty impressive (im not into art at all but i think a bas relief is like a mural carved into the wall or something like that). The next temple that we saw was Banyon... and it is so cool. There are all these faces carved everywhere into it (the picture of me sitting in the window has me looking at one of the faces). Leading up to the temple is a big moat with a bridge and on either side of the bridge there are carving of stone that depict the Hindu view of creationism.... like 52 gods and 52 demons churning a sea of milk to create mankind. Kinda cool to see the Hindu influence in a place that is now predominately Buddhist. My favorite temple was Ta Phrom.... this is where they filmed Tomb Raider with Angelina Jolie and it is awesome. It is supposedly still in the same condition that it was discovered in during the early 20th century. Angkor wat was huge and then taken back by the jungle and then not discovered until recent history... to this day most of the archeology of Angkor is unknown because there still hasn't been detailed research on the area. So this temple has crazy big trees growing out of the walls and moss covering everything... kinda creepy because it looks like an old abandoned temple that no one knows about (see picture of me and vida at the temple).
That night i decided to wash my clothes in the sink... bad idea in Cambodia. It is so hot and humid that you cant dry anything. I thought that my clothes were going to mold before they dried. And our room only had a fan (i say that but i have yet to stay in an AC room that i paid for... im cheap like that... but i would have given my left nut for some AC in Cambodia.. that's how hot is was). And then our room smelled all musky and moldy from all my wet clothes. AND... Cambodia is also really dusty... they really don't have any paved roads (beside the touristy roads) instead they have this red dirt stuff that gets everywhere (including your wet clothes) so everyone driving wears face masks.
Cambodia was totally worth it because Angkor wat is amazing..... even worth the $25 US dollars that they make you pay to leave the country... seriously who does that. But now I am on the cool beach and plan to do some sea kayaking tomorrow to the karst formations out in the oceans and explore some sea caves.

Be sure to check the comments

I just spent a lot of time trying to reply to comments.... so if you posted a comment, be sure to check them out because i am spending valuable bahts that i could be using on BEER! Cheers. Headed to the Andaman Coast tomorrow (the one hit by the Burmese Cyclone and actually right on the Burma border... but supposedly the cyclone and the rain has passed.... just in case... we are going to be in Krabi, Railay, and Koh Lanta. lots of love and hope to see everyone soon.

Finally able to post pics the last week im here... but there up

Well my trip is coming to an end. Right now we are just enjoying the island life. About to head to the West Coast of Thailand now that the cyclone has moved on (we think??) I miss everyone and thanks for reading my blog.... you guys are making my true passion in life come true.... no not medicine... travel journalism. Holla! This is Jokia. The other elephant pic was just a baby elephant that wanted to plant one on me... turns out i am irresistable to elephants too. This picture has been retouched by the photography editing master himself... Johnny B (notice there is no creepy old white dude with his shirt off) This is the part before my arms were almost ripped from my torso as I was sent for a back flip into the water. Let go before you get to the end of the line.... lesson learned.
Me and Vida at one of the random bars on the river while tubing in Vang Vieng. We Love you BEER LAO (that is the sticker from a Beer Lao bottle that i put on vida).

This is from my Thai cooking class.... and yes I cooked all of this.. even the foldy banana leaf thing. This was only half of the 6 dishes we cooked. Tasted awesome!

This is after the bike ride. All we could do was sit in the cabana and take pictures... good thing it had a great view
On our way to go tubing in Vang Vieng with some friends we met. The cool thing about traveling in SE Asia is that you meet so many people.... travel awhile... and then meet new people.
This is after we gave alms to the monks at 6 am in Luang Prabang, Laos. They walk down the streets every morning for food since they are not allowed to cook for themselves.

What you've been waiting for...

This is for my niece...... can't wait to see you.... for really!!

In Cambodia at the food stalls..... it is hot as balls and just as sweaty. Love the food stalls because they are so cheap. And if you cant tell from the pic.... i have lost a lot of weight... am really hairy... and have a helaciaous farmers tan
This was at Banyon temple at Angkor Wat in Cambodia

This is the place where monk chat took place.... crazy beautiful

Me and V-didy at Ta Phrom in Angkor.... I totally felt like the male version of Laura Croft: Tomb Raider. The jugle had totally taken this place over and there were trees like this growing out of the walls everywhere

Tubing down the river in Vang Vieng.... not quite the Guadalup (note farmers tan)

At Angkor Wat main temple................ so cool
This is where me and vida biked to..... we only had energy to stand in the lake and take pictures

Highway to Hell (Dustin and Vida's Bike tour of Chaing Mai)

*** So just to add to this story... Vida reminded me that at a stop light she was getting a picture of me on my bike in the middle of rush hour traffic when the truck ahead of me started to go.... well ends up it was a septic truck and when it hit the gas a huge splash came out of pipe from the back of the truck and slashed a big puddle of raw sewage 1 foot from my open toed shoe. While my mind was trying to figure out what the hell flew out of the back of this truck... Vida yells EEWW! Its shit!! ***

So i know this is old but i forgot to write about it.... and it is too funny... so here it goes. So it was Vida's first day in CM and i decided to listen to the dumb ass writers in Lonely Planet (who obviously must be avid cyclists) because they recommend a nice 1.5 hr bike ride to a remote reservoir in the mountains that you can swim and stuff (i highly discourage any persons that just rode a bike when they were 12 to take this stupid ass's advice). So me and vida rent bikes from our guest house for about $1 and set out with our guidebook. The bikes have some messed up handle bars that move when the wheel doesn't... like a screw loose or something and there is grease everywhere. I am guessing that whoever "fixed" the bike thought that more grease makes a bike work better and even more grease would hold the front wheel on the 1970's bike. So in less than 5 minutes i have lost Vida who is like a bicycle savant... She was modest and said that she didn't ride that often... so i told her to not be silly... she was a natural... just like a fish on wheels. And Asia is not that bike friendly... and by not that bike friendly i mean that vida almost died 3 times before we even got past the town square. I thought about calling in quits but vida was now determined (lol... you should have heard her thoughts on the bike ride 2 hours later). So this is mid-day and hot as shit.... and these two white-ies (well one whitey and one browny) are the only two tourist stupid enough to take our BICYCLES onto the freaking highway. We get lost about 20 times and have to keep asking people for directions which is hard when no one speaks English and no signs are written in any alphabet we can understand. So we finally get on a road that we think is right because now the people we ask for directions all point in a straight line instead of all curvy shit with their hands. So about an hour into the drive i realize that there is a motor scooter that looks really familiar.... and i realize that it was one of the same dudes that we had asked for directions earlier (and this dude was headed in a totally different direction than we were going... but for sure knew where we were going because we asked for directions... but again... no English). So i tell Vida to keep an eye on this dude. He keeps passing on his scooter and then pulling over until we get ahead of him and so on for the next few miles. Vida gets scared and we decide to pull over and stop to see is he is really following us.... and he stops too!! Then turns around like he is leaving but goes and hides behind a tree. We tell a shop owner but he didn't do anything.... so then we see an army dude and start talking to him. He ends up going and talking to this dude, searching his scooter and such.... Comes back and tells us that the guy is just on his way to Huay Tung Tao (the same damn place that we were heading.... said he was meeting some friends). So the army guy asked me if i had a knife to stab the guy. WTF?? By now we are thinking this dude is going to wait until we get out in the middle of nowhere and steal all our shit. The shop owner tells us a back way and we finally lose the guy... but it is still freaking far away. By this time vida is complaining about her ass from the bike seat (which she continued to do for the next 2 days... but god knows she is a trooper cause I don't know many people who could have made the bike trip... i think that the potential robber put the fear of god in her and now she was determined to make it to the lake alive). So we FINALLY get there and are exhausted.... too tired to do anything but sit under a bamboo hut and curse. We are also super burnt... before we left vida asked if we should wear sunscreen... but i hadn't been burnt since i have been here so i said no... big mistake. So then we have to do the same damn bike ride back to town. So we tried asking every tuk tuk driver we passed if we could put our bikes in there tuk tuk (read: Go kart) but none would take us with our bikes.... so we road the whole way back. That is when we decided not to ever listen to the writers of Lonely Planet ever again.... athletic bastards. But now all we can do is laugh about it.... oh sweet jesus

Just to catch up....

So I just got back into Thailand from Cambodia.... which is why i haven't posted in a while. Ends up that Cambodia is not a telecommunications mecca. Anyways, everything has kinda been a whirlwind. Covered 3 countries in 2 weeks and it kinda feels like we are on "The Amazing Race".... and i mean literally. Yesterday we were in Angkor Wat (more of that story later... it is AMAZING... you should look up pictures... seriously a Wonder of the Ancient world--- i thought better than the stuff i saw in Rome) The Amazing Race was filming at Angkor the same day we were there. AND THEN... we end up at the airport to fly to Bangkok from Cambodia... and who was on our airplane.... thats right.... 3 teams competing on the next season of the Amazing Race. We are sitting there and then all the sudden all these camera and sound guys are filming everything. And the producer guy was sitting in the seat right behind me and vida. CRAZY!! So now we consider ourselves official unofficial cast members. And before all this started I was telling vida that i thought it felt like we were on the amazing race.

Jami: I miss you lots baby!! Cant wait to hug and kiss you. Hope you are having fun in Greece and i cant wait to see pictures
Faith: We are being semi-careful... as careful as you can be in SE Asia. But having a blast. Tonight we take an overnight freighter boat to the islands.... we have to go to the other coast of Thailand because the Cyclone is headed right for where we wanted to go... will try to get there later this week
Dad: Glad to hear your leg is healing.... but more excited to hear from you! Glad you figured out the blog stuff. Cant wait to see you at graduation. I was just thinking about Granny Liz and wishing that she could be there for my graduation
Sharon: Happy Late Birthday... I didn't forget but Internet in Cambodia is ghetto
Mom and Randy: This comment would have been for you two if you had posted more on my blog. But i miss you guys all the same.
Haley: You would have loved the elephants.... that was all i thought about while i was washing them. A baby one even gave me a big kiss on my cheek.
Cooper: I bet you are walking everywhere now and I hope you will be saying "Uncle Dustin" by the time I get home... tell your mom to help you start practicing
Tammie: This trip totally reminds me of mom and dad when they were younger... except i don't think that i will get in as much trouble as they would have.. but have lots and lots of pics. Now if i could just figure out how the hell to get them on the blog that would be gggrreaaat.
Bubba: Glad to hear Luke is doing good.... i bet he is getting super fat. And he is just on loan to you... remember that i get him back
Gma and Gpa: I miss you guys lots and thanks for helping brother dog sit/ get my dog fat.
Deb: Thanks again for all your help with everything!! Any legal special requests from my trip?? I am still so excited about my house... i keep looking at the pictures on my camera. Cant wait to see you at graduation.
Shawna: Wow!! Its great to hear from you and glad you are liking my blog. I guess you are maybe a Jr or Sr. by now. Hope life is well and stay in touch.
Rev. John Bonner: Yes Johnny B, Laos was made for you. I think if you went you would never make it home.

Hippy Hide-a-way

So it ends up that Vang Vieng is a HUGE hippy hide-a-way. I could totally picture my mom and dad back in the good old days living the life in this crazy little town. So on the backpacker circuit i have heard that Vang Vieng is suppose to be the ultimate destination for a SE Asia backpacker... and it was totally true. The big thing to do is tube down the river... but folks this aint the Guadalupe back home. I am talking about gorgeous mountains lining the river and these mountains are so steep. And lining the entire bank of the river is bar after bar after bar packed with drunk ass backpackers. And to top it off every bar is playing incredible music (a rarity here in Asia... mostly you can only get Thai or Laotian Pop music which both vida and I have voted worst music in the world). But on the river the music is: Bob Dylan, Bob Marley, The Beatles, Fleetwood Mac, Stevie Wonder (are you picking up on the hippy vibe). You start your trip at an organic mulberry farm and then start your tubes.... but before you get 20 feet down the river there are little kids jumping on your tube and hauling you to their bar (seriously... the kids dont go to school here). So after a few i decide it would be a good idea to use the bar's zip line. It was awesome but i forgot to let go before the end and the damn thing almost ripped my arms out of their socket. We tubed down the river with two friends that we met at a cave earlier in the day (Rochelle and Tania... both so cool). So we ended up tubing the whole day and it was awesome (i wish i had pictures to post... really incredible). Also here in Laos.... drugs are rampant... seriously everywhere. At restaurants you can order a pizza, coke, opium, weed, shrooms, really any drug you want. And its all there on the menu!!! So after tubing and a hard nights partying... i required the entire next day for recovery time (i am guessing that is why people come to VV and intend to stay for a few days and get stuck there for weeks.... i think it is the extended recovery time... yikes). But now we are in Vientiane.... I have kept my eyes peeled for Matt Lauer from the Today show... but sorry Gma and Faith... no luck. Tomorrow we have a flight for Siem Riep in Cambodia so that we can make it to Angkor Wat.

The Laotian Torture Chamber aka The VIP Express Bus from Luang Prabang to Vang Vieng

*** something i found out after the fact ***
"Laos – Warden Message
Reported Fighting and Troop Movement Near Vang Vieng
February 17, 2007

Multiple sources, including other embassies in Laos, report one or more incidents of fighting involving Lao Government forces, as well as sightings of increased movements underway by Lao Government forces, in the area of Vang Vieng in northern Vientiane Province on or about February 7, 2007.

At the present time, the Embassy urges U.S. citizens to use caution when traveling in and around the area of Vang Vieng and recommends against travel by any form of ground transportation north from Vang Vieng to Luang Prabang.

U.S. Embassy personnel are currently prohibited from undertaking personal travel by ground transportation north of Vang Vieng to Luang Prabang, along Route 13 and contiguous roadways."

"Sources who were in Vang Vieng on the weekend of 10th / 11th Feb, reported they had seen very large numbers of Lao troops to the north of Vang Vieng. The most obvious area of activity on R13 North is understood to be around 15km north of Vang Vieng. It's not clear what precisely took place, but some locals believe it may be Lao Govt "attack" on people in nearby Hmong villages connected to the Hmong refugees in Nong Khai who are scheduled to be returned to Vientiane. February through April are known to be the months of highest bandit - Lao Govt conflicts.

Vang Vieng Town itself is considered safe, but travellers should exercise caution on R13N, and for the time being - should probably avoid cycling and/or trekking too far north of Vang Vieng.

The "troubles" do appear to have spread south of Vang Vieng as well, with arrests being made as far south as Phonhong (around 70km north of Vientiane) and skirmishes taking place south of Vang Vieng over the past few days. Partly as a result of this there remains a high profile troop presence throughout Vang Vieng District.

The risk to tourists is still very low indeed. The bandits are not a competent, aggressive fighting unit looking to blow up bridges and kill tourists -- they are really just "on the run" and only fight back when they have to.

Having said that, as a tourist, it is probably not the best time to be in Vang Vieng right now simply because there are restrictions on what you can do. Certainly doesn't sound like time to try the Happy Pizzas anyway!"

So let me paint you a picture. Me and vida decide to take the public bus system in Laos because we figure it will be cheaper. Well... we were right... it was cheaper. We show up to the Bus station around 10:30am which was perfect because the next scheduled bus was leaving at 11am. Well here in the third world they have decided that they will sell you a ticket for the 11 o clock bus... but the bus doest leave until its full..... so at approximately 2pm our bus finally leaves after it is full.... and by full i mean every seat taken. And then after all the seats are gone, they place plastic chairs in the aisles on top of all the rice sacks and off we go. So the bus driver stands back and starts handing out plastic sacks... i was thinking maybe a snack bag for the road or something... oh no... they were barf bags. The road from LP to VV is so bad that even all the locals get sick on the drive. The backpackers behind us have heard stories about this bus ride and bought some Dramamine.... its what i call a horse tranquilizer. Me and Vida were trying to stay awake to enjoy some scenery but we couldn't even keep our eyes open after the Dramamine.. UNTIL ... we wake up and we are stopped on the side of the road. These narrow roads through the mountains are really scary... sharp cliff one side and speeding cars the other. The buses simply blow the horn as they are coming around the corner to warn people coming the opposite direction. So who would have guessed that there would be a really bad wreck blocking the road. So we get to side on the side of the road for 2 hours waiting for the wreck to get cleared. The people sitting behind us were smoking the entire time.... on the freaking bus. The bus stopped about every 20 minutes for all the locals to take a piss on the side of the road. But by the time all the foreigners tried to get off the bus the driver would honk and start driving off. This bus trip is suppose to take 6 hours.... and at this point we have been trying to get to VV since 10am. After waiting for the wreck to be cleared... my horse tranquilizer had kinda worn off and i was left to fend off the motion sickness myself. The driver also blare the worst music ever over the loud speaker all night (Laotian pop music is HORRIBLE). So we are almost to VV (this is now 11pm) and the driver decides to stop for dinner (this is with 30 minutes left to go)... whatever. So then we get back on the bus and head for VV. Everyone kinda snoozes off until we all feel the bus tires lock up and come screeching to a halt after the back fish-taled. So the first thing we all think is that we hit some one and now would never reach VV. But then the bus starts going in reverse.... And not to worry.... the bus driver had just spotted a delicious armadillo on the side of the road and couldn't help but risk all of our lifes to try the animal for dinner. We finally get into VV around midnight and head to the first guesthouse we see. But VV ended up being totally worth it.... definitely a highlight of the trip so far.

Lovin Luang Prabang

So we arrived in Luang Prabang yesterday and it was interesting before we even got off the plane. There is only one run way and only one plane per day flies into LP. You have to walk out to the terminal (more like a tiny building) and you enter a different world. Once we got into the city it is all old cobblestone streets and French architecture that hasn't changed since the French occupied Laos about 40 years ago. You also see the influence on the baguettes and doughnuts sold by street vendors, French street signs..... but dont let that fool you... no one here speaks anything but Laotian. We were walking through the streets and it is so beautiful. I really don't think i could capture how amazing the natural beauty is here in words on this blog. We saw a small river, the Nam Thang (three rivers merge here in LP.... the Mekong, Nam Thang, and some other one) All the little local kids were swimming in the river and jumping off this rickety old bamboo bridge... so i decided to join in. It was me and about 10 little Laotian kids jumping into this river (which had a really fast current) and all of us in our undies. Cause i was a white kid we caught a little attention by the locals all looking and laughing... i am guessing it was because of my outrageous farmers tan. Probably the most fun i have had while i have been here. It was beautiful... this old bamboo bridge with the muddy water and the Laotian mountains in the background and everything is so green and tropical with all the little kids having a blast. Dont worry... got lots of pictures... but i don't have a card reader here so i think i will have to keep everyone in suspense until i get back home. Then at the night market i bought some old antiques... an old opium pipe and an opium scale all for pretty freaking cheap. Today we head to Vang Vien after a trip to a water fall.

Made it to Laos... and its amazing... more to come later

Be sure to read the comments section to see what people think of the blog.... i am trying to comment back to the comments so i dont have to send emails.

Leaving for Laos... well maybe

Well today should be the last day for Thailand. We are going to try to catch a flight into Luang Prabang. We tried yesterday but the flight was canceled.... seems to be a continuing trend here. Cause they canceled the Wednesday flight as well... so we will see. Considering it was pouring down all last night and today (yeah... dry season my ass). I have heard that Laos is suppose to be awesome. Pristine scenery, very remote, not touristy, cheap, tubing down the mekong, lots of island bars. Everyone says that it is there favorite place in Asia.... that might have to do with the mushroom shakes and weed pizza... but i guess we will just have to see.

And REMEMBER, the amount of comments that you post to my blog is directly proportional to how much you love me but I wont call anyone out.... Mom and Dad.... I love getting comments. And Faith Nicole, I would really like some updates on my niece and nephew!

Still trying to stay dry in Thailand.

I fell in love with a Thai woman...

..and her name is Jokia... which means "Eye from heaven" in Thai. She is 55 yrs old and blind in both eyes hence the name Jokia). She is an Asian elephant rescued from an illegal logging company in Thailand and now living on an elephant reserve on the Thai-Burma Border. I heard about this trip from some other travelers who said that it was amazing... so I had to check it out for myself. I have been wanting to do a trek with elephants but was planning on waiting until Laos until I heard about this elephant rescue program. In 1993 Thailand outlawed logging of Thai tropical forests which was a huge step in the right direction for preserving habitat for wild elephants... but a huge problem for domesticated elephants who were now out of un-employed. For the mahouts (elephant care takers) and elephants to survive, all the un-employed turned to tourism. Elephants are made to beg for money on the streets and take pictures with tourists, carry tourists on their back in metal saddles... making there mahouts over $50 dollars a day... about the same as a months income for an average Thai. It really makes me sick. Domesticated elephants are considered livestock and treated like cheap labor here. Absolutely no animal rights in this country. At the nature reserve there are 31 elephants: some missing limbs due to land mines, some abused by logging companies, some addicted to methamphetamine in order to carry more tourists with less food, some blind. It is seriously so sad.... we watched a documentary on the way to the park and i cried the whole way.
So my elephant was rescued from the illegal logging in northern Thailand. The owners made her work long hours with little food or water. She was pregnant and had to deliver her baby on the mountain while logging. The baby elephant ended up rolling down the mountain and dying. The mom went into depression and would only lay down and refused to eat or even get up. So the mahouts shot out her eyes with arrows and slingshots in order to convince her to work. The park rescued her and when she got to the park another elephant, Mae Perm, adopted her and now never leaves her side. She kind of acts like her eyes. Jokia walks using her trunk as a walking stick or by holing Mae Perm. Its really sad but sweet to see the other elephant looking out for her. In the morning we went to the market to get all the food for the day. Then unloaded it and had fed out elephant. The coolest thing was when i got to give Jokia a bath in the river... it was incredible. I want to write more but we are meeting some friends at the bar. Tomorrow we are leaving for Laos (or at least trying to... seems a bit hard to get there) so i might not be able to post for a few days. Also a baby elephant kissed me, blew water all over me, and threw sand at me.... so awesome
NEVER PAY FOR ANY ELEPHANT RIDES EVER OR FOR ELEPHANTS BEGGING ON THE STREET.... it just contributes the abuse.
You can check out the organization at: www.elephantnaturepark.org

Thai food deliciousness

Yesterday me and Vida decided to take a Thai cooking class and it was so freaking sweet. The day started with a trip to the market. It was my job to buy Tiger Prawns for the whole group.... Vida got Chinese Kale. So we get out to the cooking school and start our 8 hour glutinous feast. Seriously.... you cook 6 dishes and then have to eat all of them. We learned how to cook Pad Seeuew (kinda like pad thai and just as delicious), Chicken with yellow curry (also fan-f$#$ing-tastic), Spicy prawn salad, Fish cooked in a banana leaf pyramid, Cashew Nut Chicken, and bananas in coconut milk. We ate a ton of food and learned a lot about thai food..... will we be able to make this shit back home.... not so sure.

Talking to a Monk

So now i will diverge from my normal humorous writing for a more serious topic. Yesterday i decided to go to a Temple for a Monk Chat... basically a time for travelers to come to temple and sit down and talk with the monks. This gives the monks a chance to practice their English, but also for travelers to learn more about the buddist culture and way of life of a monk. Really an awesome experience. I sat down by one of the older monks. Here in Thailand you see monks everywhere. Most boys in Thailand are a monk for a least a small part of their life (some for a week, a month.. however long you want to). You see them all over town in their Orange robes, no watches or technolgy, shaved heads and eyebrows. But I never really talked to one.... always seemed a little too Holy and i didnt know if was acceptable to just walk up and start talking. That is what the monk chat is for. To show tourists who monks are, and i was extremly impressed. The monk i talked to was incredibly worldly and knowledgable.... he probably knew more about Christianity than I do (i know thats not saying a lot but the dude was smart). I asked him about the Burmese government slaughter of Buddist Monks in Burma(which I am only about 1 hour drive from Burma in CM), about the boycott of the Beijeng Opening Ceremonys due to the Chinese treatment of Tibet, and also the question that i really wanted to know... why they shave their eyebrows (i was couth enough to ask those seemingly intellegent questions first). I also learned a lot about Buddism... truely an interesting religion. Budda was not a deity... he was just on ordinary person that found enlightenment in his own life at age 35. Buddism believes in truth in all religion. When i asked him about how he felt about the slaughter of Buddist monks in Burma (now Mynamar.... but in protest of the current regime many here refuse to acknowledge the gov name change to Mynamar... so i will go with Burma cause those guys are bad)... his response was.... "it makes me sad. Not for just the monks but for all the people in Burma that suffer." Interesting take when many of his friends have been killed by the current government. I think if i were in his shoes i would lean more towards pissed off. I think everyone could learn a little from the monks. I was very impressed by how cool (can a monk be cool?) and down to earth they all were. Really an experience i wont forget

Sweet Baby Jesus Really Loves Me.. Cheese and a Massage

SO i really like Chang Mai. Really i completly different feel from Bangkok. Much more of a cultural city... you can get German, Thai, Mexican, Italian foods... nice change from just rice and noodles. People arnt all trying to rip you off or sell you everything, and they listen when you say no.
I was walking down the street the yesterday.... and there sitting on the corner in all of its delicious gloriousness, McDonalds. Dont judge me. Before i came on this trip I was also one of those westerners determined to experience every aspect of SE Asian Culture and scoffed at the other travlers clinging to their culture by eating the expensive "WESTERN BREAKFAST" instead of the cheap noodles like the real thia people. But there comes a point in a mans life when he just needs a freaking piece of cheese. How can a culture with such culinary apptitude miss the boat on the deliciousness that is cheese.. So yes i had my cheeseburger because at that point i was willing to trade my intergrity and traveler values for a piece of cheese... even if it was on a McD's burger.
Next to McD's was a massage parlor. I have never been the one for massages and have never had one... didnt really see the appeal. But this heat and walking everywhere can run you down... So decided to try it out. It was ORGASMIC.. but not in the Thai "Happy Ending" sort of way, strictly platonic (Happy Ending is where the little Thai ladies rub one out for you after the massage for a few extra baht..... sorry Asian ladies but your not really doing it for me.) But damn it was amazing.
Today me and Vida are taking a Thai cooking class that lasts all day... so will let you all know how it goes later.

I miss everyone and hope everyone had fun at Ann's party... wish i could have been there. Lots of love from Chang Mai.

So much for preemptive planing

So I am now writing from Chang Mai... which thank God is not as hot as freaking Bangkok. I took a VIP (take the term lightly) sleeper bus from Bangkok overnight to CM. Well, good news is that the bus was fairly nice (which it should have been for $30... i am bitter but whatever), bad news is that the roads are HORRIBLE. I was getting thrown all over the guy next to me and none of us got any sleep on that damn ride north. So i thought i was being super smart by traveling at night so i didnt have to pay for a hotel, BUT, when you get into CM at 4 AM no hotels are open or they just say that they are full so they dont have to wake up to help you (and after the 10 hour drive on pothole alley i was exhausted). So that left me aimlessly wondering the streets for someone who would give me a room. Finally found a place that had a room with a fan for 400 baht (that is about $13 US... and you dont know how much that pains me to pay that much for a roach nest of a room.. and yes there are roaches..big ones... i just write it off by saying everyplace has roaches... i can just see them better at this specific establishment). But on the bright side there is a pool. But so much for preemptive planning... never has been my strong suit. I guess thats a good thing about traveling in SE Asia though, there is a lot of shit that will make you mad... but then there is always an upside. I am just hoping the upside to this hotel doent end with me getting bed bugs or scabies. I am terrified of getting bed bugs while i am here, sad but true. AND VIDA comes tomorrow... this should be fun :)

Check out Jami's and Vida's travel blog

I just wanted to let you know I added Vida's travel blog to my list of links. I know that the fam will want a second opinion of all my activites.... so go check out her blog. We will be meeting up on Sat morning in Chang Mai. And i know the rest of you are already checking out Jami's from the comments.

Still having a blast and cant wait to come home and see everyone at graduation.... yikes.... still cant believe that i am about to be an MD. Love everyone and hope all is well back in the mother country.

For Your Entertaiment Pleasure: Ping Pong Continued

I just wanted to thank all you guys for your comments.... i love logging on to hear what you guys have to say about my travels. So thanks for reading and keep the comments coming. Since the ping pong show caught everyones attention I thought I would add some more about it.
Well when we first walked in and was swarmed by the performers i guess you would call them.... and before I realized what was happening I was holding a big ass candle and being pushed up to the stage.... where low and behold there was a chick laying there with a metal tube coming out of her va-jay-jay. Then a huge puff of air came out as she quefed (sp?) the candle out. So then she sang "Happy Bert-day" to me. Gotta love you some Thailand. What really disturbes me is that there must be some people in the world that get off to that stuff. For me it was just the pure novelty of it all. I was just glad that all the customers in that joint were young backpackers like me and not creepy old dudes. It had more the feel of a comedy show than something perverted. I had my first brush with the law yesterday too when I accepted a 20 baht tuk tuk ride. I was really impressed because i thought it was the first time one of the drivers wasnt trying to rip me off and felt like i was getting a pretty good price. BUT... halfway in the drive i realized that he was trying to say 200 baht. So I was like NO way! I knew that was too high. So i told him i would give him a 20 and walk the rest of the way. So he called the Police over. Crazy. I think it was because the popo spoke a little better English and not that he wanted me arrested. I ended up giving him a 20 baht and 1 US dollar and an apology and walked my happy ass the rest of the day. Yet another day of avoiding Thai prison. Heres to tomorrow!

Ping Pong Anyone??

Wow... i am having an awesome time here. more fun than i even thought that i would. I was excited about traveling by myself this week but also a little nervous.... especially with a lack of people that speak english. But it has been amazing. So this is the part where Aunt Deb should probably stop reading... haha. I know the audience of this blog is for the most part family but i think it is my journalistic duty to be uncensored with this blog. So i met some really cool people at my hotel. I met a really cool guy from Israel and he was traveling with his folks who dont really go out. So we decided we were going to explore Bangkok. Well... ""Dry Season" is really a misnomer because it freaking poured down last night. But me being the cheap ass that i am didnt want to pay money for a taxi so i made Orin ride in a tuk tuk. Well by the time we got to the red light district we were freaking soaked. The big thing in Bangkok is Ping pong shows. So in order to better understand Thai culture we decided to explore such an establishment. WOW! Must admit that it was a little shocking/gross/impressive. With such skills as: shooting ping pong balls out of vagina, shooting a blow gun with dart to pop a ballon with vagina, opening a coke bottle with vagina(pry off top), and multiple other removal of foreign objects. After the show (the finale was a live sex show.... and Colin, Kara, and Jami it would have made you proud... no dry humping here in Thailand. In NOLA it is lame dry humping. When the workers at the club see white guys they swarm... its like they can smell money or something. But when a group of Indian guys walked in none of them even stood up. When me and Orin walked in there were about 10 girls all trying to grab our junk. Disturbing. Then we went out to the bars and I ended up meeting this group of Irish folks that knew where bars stayed open all night. So we ended up partying until 7:30am the next morning.... crazy. Irish people are so cool. And today i returned to my room only to find that everything was soaking wet because the freaking ceiling leaks. But the good news is that they put me in a MUCH nicer room for the same price. UPGRADE. Since i am about out of time on my card i have to cut this short.

One Night in Bangkok and the worlds my oyster

So that is a reference to a song but I am not sure if my reading audience will get that. BUT... I made it and am having an awesome time. It really is nice to travel alone and meet random new people. I met the coolest tuk tuk driver today (a tuk tuk is a go kart from hell that travels on the highways and i am sure will kill you if it ever gets in a wreck)> Sorry if stuff is spelled wrong but spelling has never been my strong point and i am drunk off cheap thai beer. But after 1 day i am totally templed out... HOLY HELL. tHERE are so many freaking temples here!!! I saw 4 today. Hired a tuk tuk (and survived) and went to 4 temples (or wats... that is basically thai for temple). Switched guesthouses thank sweet baby jesus! THE other one was nasty. So hot here. Met some really cool people. Tonight i am going out to some clubs (aka ping pong shows) with a dude i met from New York via Israel. SO should be interesting to say the least. I just really like being here. So far not home sick at all. Everyone should be glad that i am being ultra safe... nothing illegal so far... haha. Lots of tourists but not many Americans. What i totally wish i had was a Thai phrase book. Jesus... i seriously thought that there would be more English speaking people. There goes my American-everyone-revolve-around-me mentality. But seriously... so frustrating. It is so hard to even say hello or thank you in Thai.... i swear that my mouth cant make that kind of sound. But i am slowly learning. From the sounds of it I CAN speak much better thai than most of the tourists that i have met. But my go to phrase is "how much?" which is probably bad for the walllet.... but considering how much of a cheap skate i am i dont think that there is anything to worry about. Today i got a TUK TUk for 4 hours and only paid the dude $1.50. AND ONE LAST story for the road.... I dont have any pants... and you have to have pants for the temples or they wont let you in... so i rented the most hideous pair of women pajama pants in the world... they were really bad... every american tourist commented on my pants at the temple.... but i dont care cause they were super cheap. I MISS EVERYONE AND CANT WAIT TO SHARE MORE OF MY STORIES.

Phoot Thai mai dai

translation - "I don't speak Thai"
So it is currently less than T minus 2 weeks before I depart for my month long tour of SE Asia... to include Thailand, Laos, and Cambodia. I will try to use this blog to keep everyone in the loop so that everyone will know that I am still alive without me having to send weekly emails to everyone confirming that i am still alive.