Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Back to the dirty BK



Well one thing that i have learned about traveling in SE Asia is that the bus system will always give you good stories. It doesn't matter if you pay extra for the VIP bus, 1st class, 2nd class, 3rd, whatever.... it is always going to be a train wreck. We spent a few days at the beaches on the Andaman coast and they were incredible... the most beautiful beaches i have ever seen. But the monsoon won out and we retreated back to Bangkok. We decided to catch the overnight VIP bus (don't let the name fool you) to save money on a hotel room. So the ride started out just fine... until about 30 minutes into the 13 hour bus ride... and then the smell of old urine and rank diarrhea wafted up from the downstairs toilet. Seriously foul!! I think that the bus was running late so it didn't have time to empty its septic....and from the smell of it i think that sucker had a back load of about two weeks of rank ass raw sewage. Everyone on the back of the bus was gagging.... Vida tied a bandanna around her face with my green apple hand sanitizer on it to filter out the shit smell. The people at the back of the bus tried hanging blankets over the stairway to the shitter to block some of the smell (might have helped a little). Then the dude across from us started toking a joint.... the first time that i have actually been happy that someone was smoking on a bus.... it was the closest thing to incense or air freshener that we had... but soon enough the shit smell returned and stayed with us for the rest of the 13 hour VIP bus ride. So i decide to pop a few Dramamine to just sleep out the smell. So the Dramamine made me really sleepy. So tired that i ended up taking a big yawn and sucked the toxic poop fumes down my lungs and I swear to you that i thought i could actually taste the shit. And then the Dramamine kicked it and next thing you know we are rolling into BK.



So being the cliche tourist that i am, I knew that there was no way I could leave Bangkok and not see a tranny show (cause I already got my thrills at the ping pong show ... and i knew that Vida's stomach probably couldn't handle that much vagina... even though she is going into Ob/Gyn). So we go to the red light district and head to Mambo Cabaret. This is basically a Vegas style show but with all tranny performers... pre-op, post-op, somewhere in between. I am guessing that the requirement for working this show is not impeccable dancing or singing ability... but more so a pair of saline boobs and packing heat down below... seriously, on some of those dudes there were very obvious bulges. The show was freaking hilarious but there is really only so much of trannies lip-syncing to Beyonce, Pussycat dolls, etc. hat one can watch. So after the show we go some pictures with the gir....um... guys. And headed back to the backpacker's ghetto.
So question.... what would you get if you took Grandma Bobbie, made her into a tranny and slapped a crown and an aqua dress on her??? Any guesses?? Yeah... the green dress above is also packing some heat.

AND... i ate a lot of differnt bugs in Bangkok... crazyness... this one is a grasshopper... also tried cricket, larva, worm-looking things, and a beetle. CRUNCHY

1 comment:

Faith said...

Okay, finally some adventures that I am NOT jealous of (ha ha)!! Guess you held true to the "when in Rome, do as the Romans" motto.